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The Nut Job/Transcript
Transcript SURLY: When you're an animal, life's a balancing act. Each day is a quest to find food to survive. It's a tough nut to crack. Wait, you think I'm one of these dopey pigeons? No, no, no, no, this is me. The handsome one. (COOING) I got no problem with my feathered friends. In fact, I get a real kick outta them. (SQUAWKS) They're really soft on the feet. And they're always building these little picnic baskets that offer the occasional treat. Apparently, not today. Thanks for nothing. (COOING) At the end of the day, I'm just like all you fine people. I'm no hero. I'm just a squirrel trying to get a nut. One bag of nuts, please. And that's my buddy named, well, Buddy. He don't talk much. Yeah, they say the world's there for the taking. So, that's just what we're gonna do. (CHILDREN LAUGHING) RACCOON: Come along. Please keep that food coming, everyone. That's it. All finds are valuable. (MOLE GRUNTING) Mole, what is our food level now? MOLE: Pickings are slim this year. (CHUCKLES) I'm sure we could rephrase. MOLE: (GRUNTS) We're at starvation levels! We're all gonna die! (ANIMALS MURMURING) Now, now, now, have optimism, brethren. Stiff upper lip, everyone. Ah! Here we are, food. (ALL GASPING) I'm afraid this is the wrong kind of nut. Hmm... Shiny. (CHIRPING) What's that? A nut cart? A nut cart? A nut cart? My eyes! RACCOON: This could be our salvation for winter. Andie! I'm on my way. You won't regret this. Uh-uh-uh. Grayson is going with you. With all due respect, sir, I can do this on my own. I don't... Grayson! Ole! (ALL SIGHING) Chicks dig the tail. (CLICKS TONGUE) RACCOON: Help Andie retrieve as many nuts from that cart as possible. For the park! ALL: For the park! Oh! What she said. And above all, keep a wary watchful eye out for you-know-who. No! Not him! Yes, him. Ho, ho, ho, come to daddy. Hey, mack, you know where the Oakton Bank is? Oh, thanks. (HORNS HONKING) Where'd you learn to drive? MAN: Moron! (CLICKING) (YAWNS) (CONTINUES CLICKING) GIRL: Hey, mister! I want some nuts. Scram, kid, we're closed. The sign says you're open! Burn rubber. Did you hear me? I want nuts! FINGERS: You want nuts? GIRL: Nuts! We got to get those nuts before the rest of the park gets in on this. Let's go over the plan. That's us, there's the cart, we rob the cart and then stuff ourselves silly all winter. (BUDDY WHISTLING) What are you looking at? Great. We got company. Okay, we got to move. Get in the pail. Officer, that man, he assaulted me with nuts. - Oh, no. - GIRL: It was horrible. Now, listen, Officer, that is not... I need to see your vendor permits. There it is. Enough food to feed the park for the entire winter. That dog will make it difficult, though. Grayson? Grayson? - Quiet. (SNIFFING) - ANDIE: What are you doing? I'm smelling for any sign of that rascal, Surly Squirrel. Picking up rather strange scents, though. Cashews, man musk, (SNEEZES) dog hair. I knew it. You stay here. Honestly, woman, I am still the park hero around here! (CLICKS TONGUE) Which reminds me, why haven't you asked me out on a date? Oh. (LAUGHS) (SNIFFING) I smell a rat. What are you doing here, Surly? (SCREAMS) FINGERS: Do you like cashews? You want some cashews? Who needs a permit when you got nuts? Great. So, you're after this nut cart, too, huh? Of course I am. The park needs it. Well, too late, sister. Amscray. Buddy and I got here first, and I ain't sharing. Oh, yes, you are. Fall's half over and the park's having the worst shortage in years. That nut cart can feed everyone. Hey, we'll work together. We can work out a deal. Uh, pass me that metal thingy, will you? (GROANS) I just... I don't get it. You have all the drive and ability to help the park, but you never do. You know, this is a chance to prove Raccoon is wrong about you. I don't care what Raccoon thinks. Well, then do it for the park. Stop thinking about yourself all the time. Look, I'm independent and that means looking out for number one. I suggest you do the same if you want to survive. Got that? I feel sorry for you, Surly. A-ha! Found him, Andie! In a tree, no less. Very crafty, Surly. I shall now arrest you before you interfere with the park's nut cart caper. It's okay, Grayson. I got him. No, Grayson, she doesn't. You better help her. Well, you! I'm gonna... Hey, Sugar Ray, take the gloves off. I'm just gonna rip your tail off. Now, how about that date? Listen, I'd love to keep chatting, but I got a date with destiny. Destiny, do I know her? Buena suerte, chumps! That was thrilling! (GROANS) That was painful. (SIGHS) This is going to end up bad. LUCKY: Excuse me, Officer. I happen to have seen the whole thing. This little girl might be exaggerating a little bit... I am not! (GROANING) FINGERS: Did you see that? You're my witness. LUCKY: Did you see that, Officer? FINGERS: Yeah. Yeah, she assaulted me, Officer! I'm just an innocent citizen. Aren't I right? (SIGHS) Aww, great. (BARKING) (GRUNTS) (SNARLS) Bon apptit. (BLOWS RASPBERRY) (GROWLS) Hey, your cart, it's getting away. Holy Toledo! Amscray. (LAUGHING TRIUMPHANTLY) Uh-oh. Nuts! What a woman! (GRUNTING) (WHIMPERS) (INDISTINCT MUTTERING) That just cost you 10%. (SIGHS) Ole! Did I save the day? (ALL SCREAMING) Grayson, try to get as much food for the stock as you can. (SNIFFING) Hey, what's that smell? That's my cologne, made from tree sap and falcon tears. - Get back. - Hey, watch the tail. Flammable here, come on. These nuts are ours! Huh? These nuts are mine! Okay, Surly, let's negotiate. We can share it with the park. Yeah, that sounds fair. How about 100 me, zero for you? (GRUNTS) Wow! They definitely don't have a permit for that. (LAUGHING MANICALLY) No! We have to stop this cart. Photo op! (GRUNTING) Surly, come help me, man! What? Curse you, Surly! (LAUGHING) Surly, you coward! (SNICKERS) Heck of a day. Grayson, the oak tree. The tally is in. The food collected in the trunk of our oak tree (ALL GASP) will not be enough to carry us through winter. (ALL GROAN) I knew it! We're gonna die! - Settle down, settle down now, please. - Raccoon! (SHUSHING) Raccoon is giving a speech. Though this outlook appears disheartening... Excuse me, Andie and Grayson are on... with determination and honor... (CLICKING TONGUE) You gotta listen to me. this park will persevere! Take heart, park brethren, there is hope! (ALL GASPING) - Raccoon! - Quiet. I'd like to take this moment to point out... Quiet. Quiet. (LAUGHING) Grayson's never let us down before. I believe he is on his way right at this very moment carrying... Flaming cart of nuts! What? (GASPS) (ANIMALS SCREAMING) Our food! it will be destroyed! Why didn't you say anything? Abandon tree! Abandon tree! (GRUNTS) Not my perfectly symmetrical face! No! ALL: Phew! ANIMAL: My goodness! (POPCORN POPPING) Grayson? Grayson? Where are you? What happened here? (GROWLS) Who is responsible for this? SURLY: Let go of me, you clowns! (GRUNTS) You're making a big mistake here. I got an alibi! I got witnesses. (GROANS) Found him hiding in one of our holes, just like a snake. I was recovering buried nuts, that's what I was doing. (SNIFFING) You guys smell, like, burnt nuts or something? That me? What's going... Ahh! (LAUGHS) Look at that! You guys are messed for winter, man! I mean, wow! Just look at that bonfire! You didn't see that coming, did you? (SCREAMING) (GROANS) (ALL GASPING) Never fear! This sweet bod is undamaged! Raccoon, let me organize the trial. Just give the order. Another trial? He's never learned. He needs something more severe! He is a clear and present danger! You... No, no, we do things by the rule of law. Let justice take care of him. They want justice, Andie, and justice they will receive. All those in favor of banishment, raise your paws! - Banishment? - Banishment? Bandages? Yes, please. Why are you hesitating? He's refused to join us, ridiculed our hard work, stolen, cheated, lied, and now destroyed our only food for winter. What say all? And stick 'em up! Why is the ground moving towards my face? We don't convict without a trial. This isn't how we do things. Uh... I have run out of options for that squirrel, Andie. Do what you will, do what is right. Oh! (STAMMERS) Buddy has not voted, and it has to be unanimous, that's the rule. You won't vote against me, will you, old buddy? Buddy? You were saying? (GEESE HONKING) MOLE: By the authority granted by Raccoon and the park community... Oh! This is too high... Surly Squirrel is hereby banished to the city, never to return to our beloved Liberty Park. Ugh! Can I please get down now? You should have had a trial, Surly. I'm sorry. (CLICKS TONGUE) This is my punishment, Buddy. Huh. This ain't so bad. (GASPS) Ahh! (SCREAMS) (CHOKES) Oh! Filthy rat! (GRUNTS) (SIGHS) (YELLS) MAN: Hey! Whoa! Is that a rat? WOMAN: Oh, my! (SCREAMS) Shoes. Shoes. Gotta tail. (WOMAN SCREAMS) Hey! (THUNDER RUMBLING) (SIREN WAILING IN DISTANCE) (SNIFFLES) (THUDDING) (GROANS) (SCREAMS) No, no, no, Buddy, Buddy, Buddy, speak to me, pal, come on. Come on, snap out of it, come on, speak to me, pal, come on, come on, come on, snap out of it. (SIGHS) Boy, it feels good to have a... Hey, what are you doing? Get your hands off me. Beat it back to that park. It's dangerous out here. Besides, you'll just get in my way. I don't need anybody. (RUSTLING) You guys looking for that squirrel? Me, too. (CHUCKLES) Oops. (PANTING) (SHUSHING) (RATS SNARLING) (GASPS) Hey, fellas, come on, come on, come on. I'm cool with rats. My best friend's a rat. There he is! (SCREAMS) (BLOWS RASPBERRY) (ALL COOING NERVOUSLY) Go on, be free. Be free. Come on, come on, come on. (YELLS) Buddy, Buddy, come on! Here we go. (GRUNTING) We did it. We're away. Ha! (GASPS) (PIGEON SQUAWKING) Whoa! Let's go tell the boss. (SOBBING) I can't do this anymore. No food, no home. Rat gangs. I'm gonna die out here, Buddy. I don't know, I mean, maybe they could take me back. I'd do public service. I'll read to that blind woodchuck. I'll even listen to Raccoon. I'll do anything. I'll do whatever it takes to... (DANCE MUSIC PLAYING) Okay. We get in. We fill our bellies. But we do it my way. (JOINTS CRACKING) (SCREAMS) (WOMAN SCREAMS) (GRUNTING) Forget it, Buddy. That's not gonna work. Let me handle this. (CAR APPROACHING) FINGERS: We got 100. LUCKY: 20%. Twenty of 100, that's what 20% is. - You didn't go to school? - Hey, hey! Hey, hey! Look who's here! It's the boss! Fresh out of the slammer, huh? How you doing, jailbird? Hey, what's it been? Eight years? Seven years? Here. Let me get your jacket. FINGERS: No, no, no. I shall get that. LUCKY: It's fine. I got it. FINGERS: No, I got it. LUCKY: I said it's all right. (GRUNTS) LUCKY: Just good to see you. (WHISTLES) Hey, Precious! Come here. Say hi to the boss. (WHIMPERS) LUCKY: Say, boss, you look even better than you did when you went in. FINGERS: Hey, boss, you got a new suit? What is that? Is that linen? Is that silk? 'Cause you look good. Tell me it ain't Italian. LUCKY: What a sharp dude. Yeah. Hey... KING: I want youse to meet our new associate, Knuckles. He'll be the weapons and the safe expert. Knuckles, say hello to Fingers and Lucky. Hiya, mack. Welcome aboard. What's buzzin', cousin? (CRACKS KNUCKLES) All right. So, which of you geniuses found this place? I did. Ah, here we go. I did. And look at all this nutty stuff, boss. We even got a nut cart. - KING: Uh-huh. - Sorta. It'll do. We bought it for a song. And the place is the perfect cover. (CHUCKLES) And the view is swell. All right, let's get to it. Plans. Just like we talked about. Fat city. Here's the bank. Vault's right here. Reinforced steel. Solid as a rock. That's why we got these babies. (LAUGHS) We go in with a bang, and go out with the loot! Here. Kill the lights! Kill 'em! FINGERS: Ah, just probably rats. KING: Did you say rats? (MUFFLED GRUNTING) FINGERS: What's his problem? (SCREAMS) (BARKING) Shut her up, Fingers! I got this. (HIGH-FREQUENCY WHISTLE) (WHIMPERING) Wow. You can hear my dog whistle? (IN HIGH-PITCHED VOICE) Can you hear this? Like, if I talk, like, high? Like this? You kiddin' me? Really? I'm not asking you if you can hear, I'm ask... (CHOKING) Knock it off! I got enough on my plate without you two horsin' around, you dig? Uh... Uh... Hey, boss, let's show you fellas the basement, huh? (LAUGHING) We barely have enough food for the next three days, let alone for the winter. Make that food last. It's all we can spare. Come on, Grayson. Five more. Let's go! Drop the purse, honey! It's time to dance! Okay! Yeah! Rope-a-dope! All right! Let's try cheek elasticity. Yeah! Show 'em what you got, Grayson! JIMMY: Come on, Grayson. Stretch those cheeks. Do you really think Grayson should be coming with me? I don't think he's recovered from that hit on the head. Raccoon thinks it would be good for morale during these hard times. After all, Grayson is the park hero. What a champ! Good luck, my dear. Find food for us. For the park. Our hopes go with you. Ole! We know you'll find food. Take me with you! JIMMY: (LAUGHS) And you should have great weather! 80% chance of sunshine! 0% chance of winter! Take me with you! Be careful! The city is full of germs and bright blinding lights. Oh, the sun's coming up. I must take refuge in the safety of darkness. Out of my way! Bye! Look at us! Off on a heroic quest! I couldn't think of a better way to celebrate our anniversary. Hey! We are not dating. This is an important mission to find food. Right? You're right. We're past those silly labels. Ours is a love... RAT: Well, Well, Well. (LAUGHS) Isn't this a tender little scene? I'll handle this. Hello, urban rodent thing! Is that mange or bubonic plague you're wearing? Anyway, my lady and I were hoping you could point out the... Hey! Put the... Hey! Give her back that backpack! Backpack! Give it pack! Pack! Back! (GRUNTING) Hey! (GROANS) ANDIE: Grayson! Ole! A-ha! (TRAM BELL RINGS) (GASPS) GRAYSON: Go on without me! Save the park! (YAWNS) (FARTS) Buddy, I ate too much cheese. (FARTING) I think I'm gonna have a cheese baby. (KNOCKING ON DOOR) (INDISTINCT CHATTER ON RADIO) Going down. Son of a gun. Lana... Gee, Lana, you look swell. Lana, crazy dame. Hey, ain't you got a nickel to call first? No need. Your ma told me where to find you, King. Look at that! It's Lana! (BARKING) And who are you, you slobbery little monster? FINGERS: She's a vicious guard dog. (CHUCKLES) She's not very good at her job. LUCKY: She's not the only one. FINGERS: What's that supposed to mean? - LUCKY: Nothin'. - FINGERS: What do you mean, nothing? LUCKY: I said nothin'. LANA: I wouldn't have believed it, but you really have gone legit. Talk about second chances, it's boss. KING: Yeah, well, you keep it under your hat, though, 'cause, I mean, we ain't open yet, and we wanna have a surprise grand opening. Right, boys? (BARKING) Oh! Not again! (HIGH-FREQUENCY WHISTLE) (WHIMPERING) Hey! My Whistle! FINGERS: I wanna be reimbursed for that! (SNARLING) - Ahh! Oh! Rat! - FINGERS: Boss! - It's a rat! - FINGERS: Hang on! Get it off of me! Get this rat off of me! It's down my pants! Get it out of here! Get it off of me! Please! (BARKING) Next chance we get, we go back in there and stash away those nuts. Can't go back to the park, though. Ah, forget it. Let's go get that shiny thing. Here we go! No. And that's not... (GRUNTS) (LAUGHING) The thingamabooby is mine! (SURLY GROANS) Surly! - What are you doing here? - What are you doing here? - I'm looking for food. - I'm looking for food. - No! I'm looking for food! - No! I'm looking for food! Hey, did you find food? No. No food. Can I have that back, please? Why? What is this thing? It's just my musical instrument for playing the blues. I got no friends, no food This whistle has nothing to do with food Oh, I've got the no food blues For heaven's sakes! You found food, didn't you? And this thing has something to do with it. That's crazy! Spill the beans, or I... Whoa! Let's not get too nutty around here. Pardon the expression. Surly, I'm having a heck of a day! The park lost all its food, Grayson lost his mind, now I've lost Grayson. I've been out hungry and alone and getting real irritable! So, either you start talking, or come winter, I'll be wearing a new squirrel-skin coat. Capisce? The door. ANDIE: What? What door? SURLY: Nothing. Just that my door is always open to you, Andie. But we gotta go. Come back here! Hey! And hold on to that thing, okay? (PANTING) (WHISTLES) (LAUGHS) (WHIMPERS) Ooh! Ow! Tail! Head! Tail! Head! Tail! Yes! Yes! Yes! Buddy, we found it! The lost city of Nutlantis! (LAUGHING) FINGERS: I've been working on a bank heist All the live long day LUCKY: Stop with the singing, will you? Can you believe this? I can't believe this! Can you hear what I'm saying to you? (LAUGHING) FINGERS: And what's with that guy cracking his knuckles all the time? You know that's gonna lead to a serious arthritic condition. Thanks, chum. Sorry about that. Went a little nuts. I didn't say anything stupid, did I? (GRUNTING) FINGERS: Hey, how much is 20%? LUCKY: You kidding me? FINGERS: Is it a lot or is it a little? LUCKY: You're not serious, are you? Twenty of 100 is 20%. Ah, burying nuts for winter, huh? All right, listen up. We're gonna dig our own hole, a tunnel from here to the alley, loot the whole place, get fat for winter. Got it? 20%. Twenty of 100, that's what 20% is. You didn't go to school? (GROWLS) What's wrong with her? Probably complaining about the substandard working conditions here. LUCKY: All right, brainiac, let's move. FINGERS: You got an attitude. Here we go! (GROWLING) (PRECIOUS BARKING) Whoa! (YELLING) All right, Surly, you're gonna tell me what's going on in there. (PRECIOUS BARKING) Yes! Yes! Just give me that thing! There's food in there for the park, isn't there? And you're gonna share it, right? - Never! - Fine! All right! Share! I'll share! - Fifty-fifty. - Fifty-fifty? I've never gone 50-50 in my life. Fifty-fifty! Fifty-fifty! Deal! Ha-ha! (GASPS) - I got four words for ya. - Okay! Thing-a-ma-booby. - Ugh! - How do you like that, huh? - Okay, you win, you win! Get that thing out of my face! - Huh? Oh. You got me. So, you can talk. Okay, I'll stop talking, then. Just don't blow that whistle. SURLY: I'm not gonna feel sorry for you. - Of course, yes, I understand. - Stay. All right, it's safe to come down. I'm gonna level with you, 'cause you seem like a reasonable guy. If I don't get rid of you, they are gonna send me back to the pound, all right? And I can't go back to that pound. SURLY: Oh, yeah, sure. I believe you. No, I'm a victim of circumstance. Not my problem, dog. You guys okay? Don't worry about her. This is incredible! There's enough food here to feed the park for years! Hey! Whoa, whoa, whoa. What're you doing? Look, can we be friends? - Oh, great. - Come on! I can do all sorts of stuff. You wanna see? You know what? I can fetch things. Huh? I can sit. Look at this thing! This is crazy! Whoo, whoo, whoo. Has a mind of its own. Oh, Oh, Oh! I can play dead! Watch. (GROANS) Now I'm alive. I mean, this is unbelievable. It's like one to the next. Dead, then alive. Right? I'm getting some of this food back to the park. - SURLY: What? - We had a deal. Well, I can attack her, if you want. I said, shut it. Look, the deal is, you take your share, I get mine, we split ways. There's no way I can get these to the park safely. We need a foolproof plan. Good luck with that. Buddy and I are digging a tunnel. (LAUGHS) That's just... That's crazy. No. It's brilliant! Oh, Raccoon and the animals will flip when they hear about this! We'll be back, first thing tomorrow, to get started on a tunnel. That's not part of the deal. Should I attack her now? What? No! You stay! I never said that I'd work with the park. Well, you're welcome to come back with me, if you want. Who knows, you might just end up being a hero. I'll be back with the team. Well done, Surly! Put a tail on her. You know what I mean. Hey, boss, I'm gonna lick your face. Come on, don't be weird. MOLE: I propose we assemble a team and take the nuts for the park! ALL: Yeah! See? See, everybody? What did I tell ya? The sunshiny days are here again. Okay. Okay, wait. Wait! But we have to work with Surly. That's right! We are working with... Are you nuts? I negotiated a deal with him. We split everything, 50-50. Negotiate? With Surly? Are you kidding me? He's the reason we don't have any nuts to begin with! ANDIE: No! No! (ALL PROTESTING) Hey, listen. For as long as this old mill has stood, we have always worked together and kept our promises. We are not a pack of wild animals! (BURPS) These two are animals. (CHUCKLING) Winter is coming. If we don't work with Surly, we won't survive. Did Grayson see this nut supply? No. Um... We got separated. Let's all wait until Grayson gets back... We don't know if Grayson's ever coming back. (ALL GASPING) ANIMAL 1: Grayson's not coming back? What? - No! - ANIMAL 2: Terrible. MOUSE: Wait. Who's gonna be handsome, then? RACCOON: I have come to a decision. The Bruisers, Mole and Andie will dig a tunnel to get the nuts out. Mole will lead. A-ha! I will? And while I don't trust Surly, we will work with him. For now. When all the nuts are secure, we will take what is ours. We do not honor deals with Surly. For the park! ALL: For the park! Yeah! Why aren't we doing this at night? All right, let's get to work! Stand back! Guys, the nut store is over there. Allow me. Ha! (GRUNTING) So, what do you think? Green wire? Hmm. Read my mind. Wait. We don't know what that... Andie, I am in charge. Proceed, my dear. (ELECTRICITY CRACKLING) (BRUISERS SCREAMING) No! Sis, wake up! Wake up, sis! Jamie! Wake up, sis! Come on... Disperse! I have been trained in mouth-to-mouth resuscitative measures. She's fine. (WHISTLES) (ALL GASPING) Grayson? I've been casing this place for days. Every hole, vent, trap and window is mapped in my head. You wanna break into this joint, survive the winter, you talk to me. KING: We cut the alarm wire from the tunnel. When you two hit the vault, we got three minutes to dynamite it and get that dough out. We dig here, from the alley into the basement. Why don't we just use the door thing? Too unpredictable. They lock it from the inside. Now, listen closely. We fill the vault with bags of nuts. We seal it, we head for state lines. It'll be days before the bank realizes they got peanuts on deposit. Agreed? Agreed. But I do not dig. 'Cause you're blind as a bat. What? Who said that? Where are you? What kinda haul are we talking, pops? We're talking almonds, pistachios, walnuts, Brazils... Enough cashews to buy yourselves a racetrack. And did I mention the peanut brittle? That a candy or a nut? (LAUGHING) Both. (LAUGHS) Now, listen up. This is my last heist. I ain't going back to that rat-filled slammer, you dig? That's all we've been doing! JIMMY: Fire in the hole! (FARTS) (BRUISERS COUGHING) I'm gonna kill you! What's going on down... (SCREAMING) JAMIE: It's the same thing every time. We keep running into this hard brick-colored substance. Do you mean brick? We can't speculate on what is or isn't brick, but suffice to say, this material has a high number of brick-like properties. (FARTS) Okay, cut it out! Who is that? I guess there's no other choice. JIMMY: Hey, hey, wait a minute. JAMIE: We're not falling for it again! No, no, no, I'm serious. There's a loose brick over here. Yeah. Yeah. Definitely a loose brick. Hey, hey, Johnny. Johnny! Hey, I got a loose brick over here. Come here, come on, help me with this. Got it. Come on! Together, let's do this! Yeah! Come on, let's move it. - Yeah. Here we go. - Hey. Was this open the whole time? I don't know. I just got here. Come on, how about that face lick? Lick yourself. Hey, what are those guys doin'? Digging for bones. Move it. - JIMMY: Come on, Johnny! - JOHNNY: Heave! Okay, we can do this. I think it's moving. JIMMY: Come on, heave. Heave. Yeah, yeah. That's it. That's it. You're doing great. Keep up the, uh... What do you call that? The teamwork. Yeah, good for you. She's moving. Make it last! Heave! Kick it! Heave! Heave! Here you go, guys! Here you... (GASPS) Where's Surly? Hey, guys. Look what I found. Isn't it great? - Come on. Come on. - No! Come get it! No! Let go! I cannot stop! - No, let go of the stick. - It's impossible! Let go of the stick! I do not know how to let go of the stick. Let go of this! All right, fine! Hey, Surly. (MUFFLED EXPLOSION) (BOTH SCREAMING) What'd you have for breakfast? (GASPS) You brought nuts! ALL: Hey, all right! Way to go, Surly! Way to go, Surly! I'm dead! (ALL SCREAMING) They'd have sent me back to that dog pound, Surly, I know it, I just know it! What am I gonna do? What am I gonna do? You gotta help me! I'll do whatever you say. (SOBBING) Whatever you say. (ALL COUGHING) Hey, what happened here? What happened? I want some answers! Say, fellas. Look! That squirrel was trying to blow up the nut store, and Precious stopped him! Can you believe it? Good pup! Good pup! What's wrong with you? Get that wall cemented up. From now on, I want that coal chute shut at all times, you hear me? Give the mutt a treat. Now cement that wall up! That dog is one smart dog. She's smarter than you. She's smarter than you! She's smarter than me? No one's smarter than me. No one's smarter than you. That's right! Right! I'm glad we're in agreement, for once. LUCKY: Of course. (CRASHING) Surly? Hey, what's going on? This trashcan has a hole in it. We use it as cover to dig a new hole into the human hole. No brick. Now that's groundhog thinking, right there. Okay, well, how long will it take? Day or two. Depending on any pipes or rocks we come across. It'll be three days. It'll be two days! - Three! - You wanna take this to the ground? Ridiculous! It'll never work! You'll need Raccoon's approval. You kiddin' me? Raccoon's gonna love this idea! Yeah. Raccoon. Guy's not even here and he's still ruining my life. I gotta tell ya, the nerve of those bums! The nerve of those bums! "Raccoon would approve of this!" Oh, really? Raccoon! That guy, he's a bigger thief than I am! But those blockheads can't see it. They're blind as Mole. I'm the brains of this outfit. I'm the guy with the... The brains. Did I already say that? Raccoon's nothing but a lying old sack of fur! What? (COOING) Hey, Surly, over here. (CLEARS THROAT) What... What are you doing here? Aren't you supposed to be working on that tunnel? Raccoon's orders. There's something you need to know. I haven't been completely honest. Yeah. Right. (SIGHS) Raccoon's planning to double-cross you. We were all in on it. I'm sorry, but just seeing how... Raccoon's always had it out for me. And besides, who says I'm helping? But you are helping us, aren't you? I'm helping myself. Right. My mistake. Just remember, Surly, that park needs those nuts. Do what you will. I didn't authorize any handouts, did I? You know Andie. it was her idea. Are you looking for these? (GASPS) I know Andie. She lacks obedience. Can't follow orders. But she follows Surly. You know, he even tamed that guard dog? He could actually pull this off. (SCREAMS) The day Surly saves this park is the day nuts will rain from the skies! Hmm. There could be an accident. (SCREAMING) Have you considered sabotage? What? Hey, what's gotten into you? It's only Surly, a two-bit trash can thief. It's not about thievery. It's about that food getting to those animals. Have you forgotten my motto? "Animals are controlled by the amount of food they have." - "It is our duty... - "It's our duty... - "...to keep it from them." - "...to keep it from them." Good. Now, where were we? Ah, yes. Sabotage. Yeah, sabotage. Um... What is that, French? (CLATTERING) (GRUNTING) What are you up to, Mole? (BOTH SCREAMING) Grayson? Surly? Ha! - Hey. Hey. - Surly! Surly! - Hands off. What's wrong with you? - Thank goodness! Everything's wrong with me! I've been out there with the people, and the cars, and the cats, and... Rat! It's a rat! Hold me! No, I'll hold you! Whack job! What're you doing? You're drowning me in... Drown. Buddy, watch him. And keep him away from sharp objects. Okay, how about this one? (BURPS) (BOTH LAUGHING) Mole, what are you doing? (SCREAMS) Wait, wait. Is that water? - Let's get out of here! - Whoa! (GRUNTING) (BOTH SCREAMING) (CHIRPING) I'm gettin' me a pettin' zoo. What are you gettin'? - A new partner. - That's it! Hey, can it! You hear somethin'? No. (SCREAMS) (BOTH COUGHING) (UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING) (MUFFLED SCREAMS) (PHONE RINGING) SURLY: Dog! Dog! Open up! Dog, dog, open up! Dog, get out here! This bird's gonna kill me! KING: Yeah? Lana... SURLY: Come on, come on, come on! Do it now! Do it now! Hurry up! Honey, not now, no. I can't talk right now 'cause we're... LANA: Come on! All the guys are asking! Potty break? Now? No, no, no. Not you, honey. No, no. Look, sweetie... (CARDINAL TWITTERING) (PRECIOUS GROANS) What was that? Ma, is that you? Get to the alley and stop the water! Stop the water. Got it. Hey, you're not the boss of me! Apparently, you are. I love you. First stop water, then lick face. Surly, what are you doing? Shoot that rodent! Shoot it! (GROWLING) (BOTH COUGHING) Quick! Where's the shut-off valve? FINGERS: I smell a rat, boss! Rats did this? Find the rat. FINGERS: I'm confused as to what kind of rats we're talking about here, boss. It's him! There he is, the rat! Are they okay? Huh? They're gonna be fine. Hey, don't tell the other dogs we're friends, all right? It wouldn't look good. Ooh! That guy needs glasses! - Dog! - Got it! Hey! (GRAYSON SCREAMING) Surly! You left me! Wait, man, don't leave me alone! There is a crazed rat up there! - Hey, wait! Hey! - Grayson? (SCREAMS) Is that you? (LAUGHS) Shut the front door! What are you two doing here? (SCREAMS) (BARKING) (GRUNTING) PRECIOUS: Face lick! SURLY: That's not his face. (SCREAMS) So, you're the mole, double entendre intended! Nah, I'm a chicken. I saw you sabotage our tunnel. Was it Raccoon? Talk! Hey, you want me to hurt him? Keep a lookout. (SIGHS) Yeah, boss. Do your worst. Go on! I am a sealed vault, resistant to questioning. A tough nut to crack. A concrete pillar. A jar with a... (SCREAMING) My retinas! Raccoon's trying to stop the heist! I'm not buying it. (SCREAMING) Less food means more control! If the heist succeeds, Raccoon will lose control of the park! But so what? You don't care about the park, do you? I don't. But when I tell the team, I'll get double. You think they'll believe a criminal like you? After what I did for them? Oh, they'll listen. Yeah, don't kid yourself. (SNARLS) (SCREAMS) JIMMY: Oh, man! There was water all over the place! Johnny was choking, I was choking, and then the next thing you know, there's Grayson! He saved my butt! He saved my butt! - It was my butt. - Oh, yeah? Stop talking about butts. Talk about me. I'll kick both your butts! Come here! Come here! Grayson, I'm so glad you're... JAMIE: Great to have you back, Grayson! JOHNNY: It's been a disaster. We had to work with Surly. Surly? (LAUGHING) Surly! They think I shaved their butts. JAMIE: Surly! Careful! They come hither! What happened? You were up here. You ready for this piece of news? It was Mole. Saw him try to drown the twins. He confessed to everything. Mole? It was all Raccoon's idea. So, you're blaming Raccoon because he kicked you out of the park. No, I'm not. Raccoon has never harmed us before. But he sure has! Hey, listen. I just wanna get my cut and split, all right? - Grayson... - GRAYSON: Yes! You were there. I was! Wait... Where? You think it was me, don't you? No! No one said that. Just explain yourself. Buddy, did you see anything? Wait, you're asking him? He can't help you. You're wasting your time! He's useless! Can't speak! Only knows how to take orders! Kinda like you, Andie. Is that how you treat the only animal who defends you? - No. No. - You lousy... Just let him go. That tunnel is open now. We get our share out before morning. Let him take his. JIMMY: We can't trust him! We let him go. Honor the deal. Bye, Surly! Come back soon! I mean, stay away! I dislike you strongly! Hey, Surl, are we gonna get the team together? Huh? Do another heist? No. Now's a bad time. Oh. Oh, yeah. I get it. Okay, not now. So how about now, huh? I said no. Job's done. Team's done. You need a lookout? Huh? Huh? Now, get back to your humans. I'm on my own now. We're playing that game again! All right. No. No! Get out of here! Scat! Hey, look what you made me do. Whoa! Whoa! (YELPING) PRECIOUS: No! Surly! Watch out, it's a... (GASPS) (SNICKERS) FINGERS: What are we gonna do with him, boss? Shut it and grab me that blowtorch. (PRECIOUS BARKING) (GASPS) Lana... Yeah, right. Good seeing you. Nice seeing you, Lana. We gotta go do, uh, tunnel stuff. So now you know. When were you gonna tell me, King? I already told you before. You can't change who you are. LUCKY: Boss, come here! Well, go on. Rob your bank, already! This really is my last job. Boss! Come on! LUCKY: Hey, hey! (MEN LAUGHING) This is it. A goldmine right over our heads! Let's blow this thing. What about Lana? (PRECIOUS WHINES) But I don't have the whistle. I know. RAT: Hold him down! Hold him down! That's it. (CHUCKLES) RACCOON: Well, what do we have here? A hero or a thief? You think you can starve the park to stay in control? Mole told me everything. What? What's he talking about? I didn't say anything! He's loopy! Yeah. Cuckoo, you know, nuts. Whoo-hoo! Is this another one of your swindles? Some half-baked revenge against me? (GRUNTS) RACCOON: It's something else, isn't it? You're trying to impress. Grayson, perhaps. Andie? RACCOON: Oh, I see. No matter. My accomplices will take care of them soon enough. They don't follow me. They hate me. They hate me! Maybe, but I can't leave any evidence, Surly. Every good thief knows that. Hey, this is getting a little crazy, don't you think? I mean... Maybe we'll finish you off next! And where's that shiny thing he's supposed to have? KING: All right, this is it. Ten, nine... You'll get the rest once you dispose of Andie and Grayson. I'll finish off Mr. Hero myself. The park'll get rid of you. They'll vote in new leaders. How many leaders do you think this park can have? Three, two... One! (ANIMALS COUGHING) He'll warn the others! What are you waiting for? After him! Bingo, boys. (LAUGHING) Hey, hey! Hey, look at all this moolah! Load the dough into the trucks. And let's get out of here. You two, stick the nuts in the vault and seal it up. What are you gonna do with your money, huh? FINGERS: Pettin' zoo! I'm gonna buy me three pettin' zoos, and give you two of 'em! And ponies! Don't forget the ponies! Pretty little ponies! They're so soft and cuddly. One more! What the... I told you to load those nuts into the vault. Yeah, so why did you take the cart out of the tunnel? What kind of game are you playing here? What kind of game are you playing? Relax, we probably just bumped the cart. Or maybe it was rats! Holy Toledo! LUCKY: Watch out. KING: I'll handle these rats. (GUN FIRING) - Squirrels! - Watch out! - Hang on, Fingers! - Hey! (RAT SQUEALING) - KING: Get going. - Okay. LUCKY: What about you? What, are you deaf? I said, get going! FINGERS: It was going so smooth! (BOTH GASP) Grayson, you moron! Surly, I need a disguise! Something flamboyant! What? Get your head out of your tail! Lead the team into the tunnel and escape through our hole. I'll distract the big guy. I'll need some skates, a mustache and maybe a cape. You don't need a cape. I can't help the park alone. I'm not a hero, but you are. Last summer, during that heat wave, who discovered that broken sprinkler so everyone could have water? I did? That's right! They believe in heroes. So snap out of it and be one. It's hero time. It's hero time! Why am I shouting? Rats! Rats! Run! Run for your lives! Children and Grayson first! Run! It's Grayson! - He's come to save us! - Run! Get out of my way! Run! Now is our chance. Let's go! Move it, everybody! Move! Move! (YELLING) (GASPS) (SCREAMING) Mole? What are you doing here? Andie, thank goodness you're here. Raccoon? Surly is planning to double-cross us all. He confessed everything. What? He said it's you and Mole who tried to drown The Bruisers. But he's working for Surly. (STAMMERING) What? (BOTH SCREAMING) Would you stop doing that? Jimmy, Johnny, get to the park and bring more animals to help. - Yes, sir. - Yes, sir. - Out of the way. Out of the way. - Me first. Rest of us will unload the nuts from that van there. For the park! Come on, guys! I know what I'm going to spend some of my money on. Whoa! Look at that, Buddy! Celebrate later. This van could move at any time. JAMIE: Start unloading. Raccoon, I'm sorry I doubted you. ALL: Raccoon! Open this door! Raccoon! Open the door! ANDIE: Raccoon! Open this door right now! JAMIE: Open it! Open the door! (BLOWS RASPBERRY) Let him go. It won't change the plan. GRAYSON: Ole! Ole! Ole! (GRAYSON LAUGHING) Amazing! But that will. Whee! GRAYSON: I am enjoying myself! (SCREAMS) Bank to the left! Higher! GRAYSON: Ole! Ole! Ole! We gotta get everybody out of this van. Find a way in. Follow me! This... (LAUGHS EVILLY) Oh, boy! (BOTH LAUGHING) - Hey, we did it, Fingers. - Yeah! Easy street! I gotta take a look. Ooh, yeah! What? Nothing but nuts. - We've been had! - What? No money! Those dirty rats! Hey, hey, Squirrel! That's right, a squirrel! It's that squirrel! And a bird? Looks like they're on to us. Time to end this little charade. (TIRES SCREECHING) Turn around! I can't see! Go after 'em! (GRUNTING) (GROANING) (SQUAWKING) (CARDINAL SQUEAKS) (CATS MEOWING) (GASPING) ANDIE: We can do this. Whoa! (ALL GROAN) ANDIE: Come on, try again. We need Grayson. (SCREAMING) Grayson, are you there? Not to worry, I'm perfectly safe. (SCREAMS) (SCREAMING) Help! Oh! Thank you! Thank you! Mole, quit clowning around and help us open this door. Give me a boost, Grayson. Ole! Grayson! He's here to save us! Oh. - Let me explain! - Let's get him, guys! Hey, wait a second. Forget him. The door's open. We can push the nuts out. A-ha! - What... - Raccoon! You can't... Let go, you idiot! RACCOON: Help me throw him off before he kills us all! Kill us? This squirrel is a hero! Well, co-hero, actually. Raccoon is the double-crosser! You have to believe me! Hang on, Mole! What does it look like I'm doing? (SCREAMING) Why did you lock us in here? You're wasting time! This is our one opportunity to rid the park of this villain. For the park! You still haven't answered the question. This is treason. Andie! Answer the question, Raccoon. Was Surly telling the truth? Answer! GRAYSON: I call for a vote! Agreed! All those in favor of banishment, raise your paws! (GROWLS) ANDIE: Raccoon! Shiny! Hey! (LAUGHING EVILLY) (SIRENS WAILING) State lines are just past this dam. Then we are home free. (THUMP) You're the thief. Not Surly. He was right about you. (GUN COCKING) Hey, hey! No, no, no, there's dynamite back there. Huh? (TIRES SCREECHING) Hmm. OFFICER ON MEGAPHONE: All right, boys, we've got you completely surrounded. Come out with your hands up! Out! Now! I saw this coming. No, you didn't. (GASPING) Mole, where is everybody? Still inside. But Andie's in the other van with Raccoon. You can't stop him alone. Surly, what's happened to you? FINGERS: All I wanted was a pettin' zoo. You'll never get away with this. (SOBBING) I want my mommy. They've got hostages. Stand down. (FINGERS CRYING) ALL: Whoa! Holy Toledo! Whoa! I bet it was that squirrel! Enough with the squirrels! Andie. Andie. (GASPS) Surly? (GASPS) Oh! (BOTH SCREAMING) (BOTH GASPING) Whoa! (COUGHS) Andie? Andie? (THUDDING) KING: We can still save the cash. Hey, where you going? What are you doing? There's more money. Ha-ha. What are you trying to prove, Surly? Raccoon, it's not stable. Why are you doing this? Tell me. (GRUNTS) (LAUGHS) Buddy! Atta boy, pal! (HIGH-FREQUENCY WHISTLE) (GROANS) The shiny! Give it to me! (SCREAMING) Not so fast, thief! No! Look, Surly and Raccoon! They'll go over the falls. Everyone, come on. (SCREAMING) ANDIE: I got you. JAMIE: Don't let go. MOLE: Hold on! JAMIE: You can do it. ANDIE: Raccoon, climb up! GRAYSON: Let go! No, don't let go! We can save both of you! Hurry! Never! You backstabbing vermin! Surly goes down with me! Buddy, that was some score. We almost pulled it off, didn't we? Surly, don't you dare let go. I'm sorry, Andie! - What? - No! Surly, no! (SCREAMS) Is it? (GASPS) Look! - It's Grayson! - ANIMALS: Grayson! Thank you. Thank you. No autographs, please. You can admire the tail, but no touching. ANIMALS: Grayson! Yeah! GRAYSON: Thank you! The wheel! Jump! Thank you! Thank you. You're welcome. You're welcome. Grayson! What's going on here? (SCREAMS) (SCREAMING) (GROANS) Ha! Never fear! JIMMY: Grayson! You two guys are here, too? Hi! Ha-ha! Come on, guys! ANIMALS: Let's go! (GASPS) (BOTH SCREAMING) Rats! It's a rat! It's a rat... (SOBBING) Take me away, Officers. Take me away. Just save me from the rats. Percy "King" Dimpleweed, you and I are officially through. Come on, let's go. (SOBBING) Hey, Precious, where you going, girl? Precious? PRECIOUS: Psst! Buddy. Come with me. Best... Friend. (HOWLING) (HOWLING CONTINUES) (SURLY COUGHS) What are you looking at? Wait, Buddy. Did you just speak? Okay, okay, okay, enough, enough, enough. I get it, you like me, I get it. LANA: Precious! Precious! Okay, Surly, so, see you at the nut store. Wait, what? That place? Yeah, Lana's the new owner. Hey, no more whistles, huh? Just face licks. Oh, hi, Andie. Surly! When you went over those falls, I thought I'd never see you again. Oh! We got to go. Come on. Okay, calm down. Where are we going? You risked your life to save this park. Everyone has to know. No. The team saved the park. GRAYSON: Okay, stop touching the tail. Stop touching. Stop. Stop touching the tail! (SIGHS) So then what are you going to do? I'm gonna keep finding food for this park. But from now on, we do it together. Deal? This park will always honor your deals, Surly. SURLY: Yeah, they say life's there for the taking, but the truth is, life's really there for the sharing. Huh. Once you realize that, you might discover there's a little hero in all of us. After all, we're all a little nuts. (KNOCKING ON DOOR) (KOREAN POP SONG PLAYING) (SINGING) (BARKS) Any more big ideas? (CHIRPS) Please stay. (PRECIOUS BARKS) (PANTING) (BARKING) (SCREAMS) (CRASHING) (HIGH-FREQUENCY WHISTLE) (WHIMPERING) Category:Transcripts Category:The Nut Job Category:The Nut Job Transcripts